Johnny don’t like the new songs any more He says ‘sing us something that we’ve all heard before About vapouring, capering stylish young blades’ But I says to him no, I’ve a new song I’ve made Because the tides will come and go while we're waiting here on pause And we’re dredging up our misery for the laughs and the applause If there's one thing I've learned From being stuck with you in the past It’s once they've unlatched that door we'll all be ushered out fast So here’s a new ballad, a comforting refrain If you’ve not heard it before then let us sing it out again If we can’t scream our sorrow then we’ll never purge our pain So raise up a glass and we’ll sing it all again TRUSS, SUNAK, JOHNSON AND ALL OF THEIR LIKE Sail them down the shitty river, with their heads on a spike! If we can’t scream our sorrow then we’ll never purge our pain So raise up a glass and we’ll sing it again Bad luck to you all with your balls and your jigs Your home counties pack have smothered my pigs Get back to your rotten old diesel fume ditch You can’t remember the words and you can’t sing in pitch I wish one last time I could dig up for you Something to look at our life from anew But Johnny he just wants that old familiar taste Supt up like slurry from the riverside waste So here’s a new ballad &c.

This side the hedge, two “Golden Youths” Safe, they deemed, ‘neath its leafy screen Close behind sat pretty Bell As fair a lass as e’re was seen “Why don’t you seek the maid at once And make her name the happy day” “Well” he replied “She’s rather plain Yet when I’ve time perhaps I may” He never gave a thought to the proverbs that allege There’s two words to a bargain and two sides to a hedge TWO WORDS TO EVERY BARGAIN! TWO SIDES TO EVERY HEDGE &c. Now she grew fairer day by day The pride of all the country side O’er head and ears in love fell he And vowed he’d make the belle a bride “Oh Bell I love you more than life! Oh name, I pray, the happy day!” “Well” she replied “I’m rather plain Yet when I’ve time perhaps I may” He never gave a thought to the proverbs that allege There’s two words to a bargain and two sides to a hedge &c.

As I lay slumbering in a dream Methought the world most strangely went The bayliffs on high seats was seen Which caused the poor’s great discontent They plucked true justice from its throne Creating laws made of their own Burdened the poor till they made them groan And that’s the cause the land complains Methoughts a mighty hunting match Was made by bayliffs and their curse Poor men the deer they strove to catch And hang them in a room of furs The suburbs round us was their park The bayliffs got the dogs to bark Our homes was packed like Noah’s Ark And thats the cause that the land complains That’s the Cause that The Land That’s the cause that the land complains They’ll swear before they'll ever lack, They’ll go to hell a pick-a-pack Send poor debtors to the rack And that’s the cause that the land complains When I awakened from my dream Methoughts the world turned upside down So in great haste I writ this Theme For the Bayliffs Dogs of our town Who for their prey each hour do wait Like death at every poor man’s gate And brings him to a dismal fate And that’s the cause that the land complains The tallyman, curmudgeon keeps A bayliff and his dog to bite If in their books we ever creeps They quickly swear they’ll have their right Who gets enticed by these Bumms Who swear they ne’er will pay their sums? The poor in flocks to the jailor comes And that’s the cause that the land complains That’s the Cause &c. Ten groat’s the fees, and a crown the arrears And three round noughts for a writ beside Thus laws are broke, poor men appear Such racking torments they abide And while the prisoner sends for bail They tope the brandy, beer and ale And make him pay or they have him to jail And that’s the cause that the land complains For twenty shillings, ten or five They’ll put a man to cursed charge To send him to jail they’ll soon contrive Where other bills are writ out large The jail fees all are bound to rue The garnish, bed and turn-key too Expects an unexpected due And that’s the cause that the land complains That’s the Cause &c. Your Moore Field mobs and Whetstone Whores Has bayliffs and their dogs for friends When lustful youth pays Venus scores Those sponging pimps the house attends If cullies fight in a drunken fit Away goes Tory’s dog for a writ Thus many falls in the Bayliff’s pit And thats the cause that the land complains Thus to conclude and end the song And put us in a land content We must put right what’s been put wrong And justice find our parliament I hope true reason pleads our cause While we’re creating wholesome laws To keep us from these Bayliff’s claws And cease the poor of the land’s complaints That’s the Cause &c.

The lights are all turned off, there’s no one in town ‘cept those Exxon shareholders who ride up and down If you ask them the reason they’ll say ‘bon alas Some Russian dictator just pumped up our gas’ Honesty's all out of fashion These are the rigs of the time, time, my boys These are the rigs of the time. So here’s to the landlord, I must bring him in Overcharging each month, he thinks it no sin The tenants pay up and wipe mould off the kitchen But in two months for airbnb face evicting Honesty's all out of fashion &c. So here’s to our PM, I must bring him in Like the others before him, who think it no sin With only eyes for the lobby they lie through a grin As we watch our lives wither through a perspex screen Honesty's all out of fashion &c. And here’s to the opposition, I must bring them in For rattling small change in a populist tin While the workers are striking for a decent day’s pay Starmer writes for the Mail and looks the other way Honesty's all out of fashion &c. Now the very best thing that I could find Is to hoist them on their hot air in a high gale of wind. When the wind it do blow, the balloon it would burst And the biggest old tory come tumbling down first. Honesty's all out of fashion &c.

In this busy life of trouble and strife How many sad changes we see There are faces that’s covered with sorrow and care That ought to look shining with glee There are poor working men whose labour is scarce That struggle on day after day But fortune’s cold frown it still keeps them down So they can’t get a lift on the way So bear well in mind, if to others you’re kind I hope you’ll be rewarded some day If a brother you find has fallen behind Just give him a lift on the way There is people with mansions so splendid and grand Trouble scarce enters their door Their house filled with treasure, their days spent in pleasure And still they are craving for more While a poor man with talent exceedingly good To the workhouse is wending his way To ask for relief and his heart filled with grief For he can’t get a lift on the way So bear well in mind, if to others you’re kind I hope you’ll be rewarded some day If a sister you find is fallen behind Just give her a lift on the way You oft times will meet a poor man in the street Whose appearance is shabby genteel Honest and true but his heart’s filled with woe To poverty’s door he has fell; Once by society courted so high But misfortune has led him astray Kind friends if you see a man down in this world Just give him a lift on the way Kind friends if you see someone down in this world Just give them a lift on the way

Could I dream up a crimson sun as it drops from the western skies? Could you conceive the bubbling stream below the summer’s endless sighs? Could I have cooked up your wildly swirling, ever gazing eyes? OH NO we couldn’t make this shit up if we tried Could I conjure up a suitcase of fine wines from Spain or France? Could you envision pushing your fellow humaines back in La Manche? Could we devise a ministry for cutting noses from a face? OH NO we couldn’t make this shit up if we tried There’s a new kind of weather that’s landing on the beach Still we wave the flags and hang the bunting just out of harm's reach And in the same old rotting hulk we haul again on the same ropes It’s hard to see a future, it’s hard to have a hope But when we find around us truth, enlightenment and liberty Will we believe the storms that raged on us have somehow ceased to be When we’ve dismissed their lying, money-serving, life-destroying creed We’ll sing we couldn’t have made that shit up if we tried.

Oh, Corporation, will you hear This sad complaint frae me ?— It's not about the brewers' beer, Nor the brine frae the sea ;— Of Neptune's water I complain, Relief, I hope, you'll grant, I pray yon let us have again Pure water frae the Pant. Oh, Corporation, think of this, Oh think again, canny Mayor ; Oh, Corporation, think of this, And grant an awd wife's prayer ! Our skins and duds are yellow dyed With iron, lead, and ochre, Besides, our nerves are stiff and dried, Just like a kitchen poker ; You call yourselves Board of Health, I dinna want to flatter,— There cannot be much health, I think, In pois'nous, dirty water. Poor Geordy Dickie's trade is gane, The awd wives' tea is spoiled, Our eggs are just like a duck's foot When in this water boiled. There's Aqua Vity, Aqua Pure, And Aquas—it makes ne matter ; And now I ask you, one and all, What Aqua's our Pant water ? The water's pure, I'm very sure, Still at the Fountain's head. Therefore you must find out the cause— From metal pipes or lead. If not, ther'll be row, my lad, Wiv tins, and pails, and skeels ; And if we wives once set on ye, Ye'll soon take to your heels.

A man whose name was Johnny Sands Had married Betty Hague And though she brought him gold and she brought him land She proved a dreadful plague For oh, she was a scolding wife Full of caprice and whim He said that he was tired of life And she was tired of him Rye falla, rye fallarum fallarum, and she was tired of him Says he ‘then I will drown myself The river runs below’ Says she ‘I wish you would, you silly elf I wished it long ago’ Says he ‘upon the brink I’ll stand Do you run down the hill And push me in with all your might’ Says she ‘My dear I will’ Rye falla, rye fallarum fallarum, says she ‘My dear I will’ For fear that I should courage lack And try to save my life Pray won’t you tie my hands behind my back I will, replied his wife She tied them back, as you may think And when securely done -  Now stand, says she, upon the brink And I’ll prepare to run Rye falla, rye fallarum fallarum, and I’ll prepare to run All down the hill his loving bride Now ran with all her force To push him in - but then he stepped aside And she fell in , of course Now splashing, dashing, like a fish ‘Oh save me, Johnny Sands’ I can’t my dear, though much I wish For you have tied my hands Rye falla, rye fallarum fallarum, for you have tied my hands

Squeeze me down to the fairground lights Book a place for the moon, the sky’s full tonight We could stroll on the seafront boards Looking at drinks we can ill afford And then crawl home on a midnight bus But like the bread, you're all crust and  no guts My skeleton was built to last But maybe these bones have outlived my heart That's why I'll never go away with you,  That's why you'll never go away with me And yet we'll never be far apart, sat on the corner of a photograph You think that you're above the rules A murmuration for those gaping fools You blaze your trail on a fading sky While picking the pockets of passers by Who can't just drop it all and leave To live like seagulls drifting on the breeze I reach to you from the promenade But you're too far gone to rejoin my path That's why I'll never go away with you &c. I wouldn't mind being left alone A figurehead on a grounded boat They don't know the storms we've seen Or the people we might have been Before they clear the deck, send us back to the night Lets empty the bottle, put the world to rights And before you tire of my voice and my gaze I'll put my heart back in its case That's why I'll never go away with you &c.

I woke up today in your aviator shades Sprawled out like some murder scene Stuck to the bleach on the vinyl floor  While those old stars above are tough and they're mean We were beermats dancing nimbly round this tattered upholstery It was dark but it didn't rain down here A stumbling mess on Victorian steps Our crumbling nights collapsed into the morning fear But alone once more, I'll sit and pour the whiskey out myself I missed the train while you set sail… Who thought you'd be the first one to bail? I’ll pour another whiskey Another whiskey by myself Condensation and damp under low hanging lamps Our words dissolved in the flooded ashtrays The metal shutters were always gonna shut on us sometime But why the hell d’you have to leave me in this place? Alone once more, I'll sit and pour the whiskey out myself Sleeping in the car while you set sail, who thought &c. The record still goes round the years after the side’s ran out And empty drunken hopes they fade into the day And if I never turned the lights on again I wouldn’t have to see you walk away And so alone once more, I'll sit and pour the whiskey out myself I got the text today that you set sail, who thought &c.

Well I swear I seen a slobbering beast going round on two legs Walks like a man, talks like a man But a beast nonetheless Responds to earthly pleasures And the sound of his own name But when I see him strutting around our town I hang my head in shame But still it’s Better than the boneyard Though the good folks have left this place It’s better than the boneyard Though they left us with the devil down here to chase Still it’s better than the boneyard And correct me if I’m wrong We got to pick up the baton where we find it Dust it down and carry on Well he may be living in your phone like something you can tame Walking the walk, talking the talk But evil all the same His words crawl round your heart like vines Strangling the thoughts in your head But if you see the warning sign ahed take a different road instead To where it’s better than the boneyard…&c. He may ride your algorithms like a putrid sewage wave Calling names, shifting blame Like a keeper who can’t save But he’s neutered, splayed, microchipped He’ll slope off back to the night If you keep making strangers welcome And you treat your neighbours right You’ll make it better than the boneyard &c.